In this post we are going to see
what is a small talk?
Where and when we have a small talk?
why do we need to have a small talk?
What is the better way to have a small talk?
As part of this post, I am going to give
you a few amazing questions to have a better
conversation, when you come across acquaintances
Let’s see what is a small talk?
Small talk is a conversation which we have
with people whom we really don’t know.
It could be your coworker, it could be your
boss, it could be your friend’s friend, or
it could be our relative’s relative.
so basically, this conversation we will have
with people whom we really don’t know or we
know but not really well.
Let’s see where and when we do have small
in many circumstances of our life, we come
across many new people, such as relative’s
marriage function and office party and office
conference and meetings, etc.
Now, we see why do we need to have a small
There are 3 reasons why we need to have a
small talk, the 1st one is to keep everybody
comfortable in the conversation.
Let’s take an example where we are going for
a party and we are sitting along with our
friends and our friend’s friends are sitting
next to them, we know our friends really well,
we are close with them, but we don’t know
our friend’s friends, who they are, what they
are , where they come from, what they are
doing, anything we don’t know, we can easily
make out conversation with our friends, interact
with them, we can smile, laugh, giggle, we
can do everything, but it is difficult to
have a conversation with our friend’s friends.
in this scenario, if we leave our friend’s
friends out of the conversation, they wouldn’t
feel comfortable, at the end of the day, we
also wouldn’t feel comfortable.
in order to have a comfortable environment
in the conversation, it is better we include
The 2nd thing why you need to have a small
talk is when you pick a conversation with
somebody you will get to know more about another
person, they will also get to know more about
so when you get to know about each other so
it will help you to identify the similarities
between you and them, if there are any similarities.
let’s say you play a football game, another
person also wants to play football, but, he
doesn’t know anybody to play football game.
so you may call them on join you in the weekend
to have a football match.
so likewise it will help you to establish
a friendship, so let’s say if it is a girl,
and you are interacting with her, let’s assume
the conversation goes really well and you
like her, fortunately she also likes you very
well, it might help you to pave a way for
It will help you to find a mentor for the
venture you are pursuing also, it might help
you to find a right partner for the venture
you are pursuing also.
in all these ways, it would be helpful.
The 3rd thing is to have fun and enjoy the
when you are somewhere and you don’t know
anybody and everybody around you is laughing,
giggling, pulling each other’s leg and enjoying
the moment, it is better you also pick a conversation
with somebody so that you can experience and
enjoy the moment.
now, we have seen what is small talk, where
and when we have small talk, why do we need
to have a small talk, now, let’s see how we
can have a small talk? when it comes to a
small talk it is basically a conversation,
we are going to have with someone whom we
don’t really don’t know well, it might be
stranger, like that I explained already.
So, that’s why we need to make another person
fell comfortable, they also have to make you
feel comfortable, basically, when it comes
to a conversation, it is nothing but exchange
of thoughts, you share your thoughts with
another person, another share their thoughts
with you, so you have to express positive
vibes to feature in their good books, if you
emit negative vibes, the people will not be
attracted to you, so the conversation has
to be fruitful, it is better we lean what
kind of questions we can ask when it comes
to small talk; what kind of questions we should
refrain from asking when it comes to small
because, we don’t know that person very well,
if we know that person very well, what he
is; how he is; everything, in that scenario,
it would be okay.
when it comes to small talks, you are going
to have a conversation with another person
you want to know more about another person.
it is better if you don’t ask them questions
which will give you single word answer like
where do you live?
better ask them open ended questions like
what keeps you busy nowadays because if you
get a lengthy answer the conversation also
will prolong, you have a lengthy conversation,
in that way, you can exchange more thoughts
with another person, so the conversation will
be fruitful and you can know more about each
the another thing you could do is complement.
The one thing I repeatedly saying is keep
another person in their comfort zone so that
conversation can evolve and it will help you
to establish the relationship also.
Let’s take one example, in next assignment
in your office, you have to work closely with
another person but that person is not closer
with you right now.
you have to establish relationship, so you
need to find an opportunity.
let’s say that person owns a new mobile today
surprisingly, you could tell them, you mobile
looks so beautiful and gorgeous like you.
it will make them feel good and help you to
initiate the conversation in the right direction.
let’s take one more example, your one of your
coworkers got a new hairstyle today, so you
could tell them wow you got a new hair style.
may be they could ask you back, whether I
look good in this hair style or not? you could
reply them saying you always look beautiful
regardless of the hairstyle you own.
okay, this way you could initiate the conversation
and complement another person.
In another scenario, let’s say one of your
coworkers looks so stressed, may be you could
go to them and ask them why you look so stressed.
stay happy, it will also make them feel good
and make you feature in their good books.
the another thing you could do is don’t hold
when you begin the conversation, you have
to give something for another person to work with.
let’s say you have been asked what do you
do for living? you could I am an accountant
but I don’t cook the books.
See how funny the response is! now, that person
could ask you another question, it is not
like you are making them scramble for what
next question could be asked to you, right.
so, let’s take one more example, you have
been asked what you have been up to? may be
you could reply them saying I have been to
Italy this year along with my kids.
now, they know that you have kids. may be
they can ask you back,
how old your kids are?
what they are doing?
where they are studying?
how they are studying?
so and so.
likewise, the conversation would evolve.
the another thing you could do is, you can
revive the dying conversation.
Sometimes, silence could be prevailing in
the conversation, so that time you could throw
some more questions so that another person
could process and get back to you.
thing of silence as a transition, because
silence is not there, as long as you think
there is! you always can revive the conversation
with the new questions, with the different
topic and you can take the conversation in
a different direction.
but, in sometimes, if you see people want
to get out of the conversation, in such situations,
you need to allow the people to do so.
you should not look like a blabbering idiot,
holding them and talking something bullshit
which they don’t want to.
The another thing you could talk about is
let’s say you are proceeding a conversation
with you acquaintance in a party, but, you
don’t know how to proceed the conversation.
for that, the one thing which always comes
i handy is the venue. may be you could talk
about the venue.
how the venue is decorated so well? they also
would agree, they also would say, yeah! this
is decorated very well.
so, it could have been in a better way or
this is the best decoration they could have ever seen.
may be they also could voice out their thoughts.
may be you could say them music playing around
is so pleasing to the ears. may they also
would agree or likewise, you can exchange
the thoughts talking about the venue and proceed
and may be you could say them like the food
the line for food is so lengthy, so likewise
you can talk about the venue and what is present
around and inside the venue.
so, let’s take one more example, so the office
has been decorated so well for the Christmas
ahead of time and you are sitting with your
coworker and you want to pick a conversation
and you want to continue the conversation,
may be you could tell her, the office has
been decorated very well, you feel like you
are already celebrating the Christmas, may
be she also could agree and she also may express
the happiness or what she feels, how she feels
about the decoration had been done inside
the another thing you could do is “Less talking,
the one universal but sad truth is ” people
always care about what they have to say, it
is not that what you have to say”.
People always love talking about themselves,
let’s take a scenario, where you are along
with you acquaintance in some venue, may be
you could ask them what do they do professionally?
what do they enjoy recreationally? so, it
will help them to open up about themselves,
may be they can explain you like they do this,
they do that, they do this for this long time,
so they enjoy doing this, they spend so much
dedication, handwork, like that, likewise,
they could explain and love talking about
You should be a good listener, when it comes
to small talk and make the conversation go
smooth and let the conversation prolong.
So far, we have seen how to pick a conversation
with somebody and how to make the conversation go smother.
now, we are going to see how to implement
FORD technique to have a better small talk.
so this FORD technique is basically a research
backed technique and it is more about asking questions to people.
Let’s see the first letter in the FORD technique
, the ‘F’ in the FORD technique represents FAMILY, so when you have a conversation with
the stranger, acquaintaces, boss, coworker,so you can talk about the family, you can
ask them where do they live?
what do they do?
but, if you are not sure whether they got a family, you could ask questions like what do you do after your work?
what keeps you busy during the weekend?
what do you enjoy doing during your leisure time? with whom, you spend most of the time?
so that that person can reveal more about themselves and you could ask appropriate follow-up questions so that you can have a better conversation.
Let’s take a look at the next letter in the FORD technique, ‘O’ in the FORD technique represents ‘Occupation’, this is again one of the right topics to have the conversation with strangers, acquaintances, boss and coworkers.
you could ask questions like where do you work?
what kind of work you do?
do you enjoy working in this designation?
do you enjoy working in this company?
what is your company culture?
but, prior to ask these kind of questions,
make sure that person has a job, if you are not sure whether that person has a job or not?
instead you could ask questions like what keeps you busy during nowadays? in which activity,you spend most of the time?
so that you can have an enjoyable conversation
at the end of the day.
Let’s take a look at the next letter in the FORD technique, ‘R’ in the FORD technique represents ‘RECREATION’, recreation is nothing but what people do for enjoyment or relaxation, so when we come across people whom we really don’t know well, we could ask questions like what do you like to do for fun?
what do you do on the weekend?
so where did you go for vacation?
so such questions you could ask but if you are aware about a person’s hobby already let’s say a person is very much interested in trekking and he often visits different mountains to perform the trekking also. In that scenario, you could ask questions like which was the last mountain you visited for trekking?
that way, you can have a better conversation with another person.
The last part of the FORD technique is asking questions about others dreams.
when it comes to dreams, don’t think like it is the dream you have when you fall asleep,so it is actually about other people dreams
that what they want to become down the line?
don’t hesitate to get creative with questions like what have you always been wanted to do?
if you could travel anywhere which place would you like to visit?
where do you want to see yourself down the line 10 years?
it might take a few attempts to get that person interested in talking, be sure to listen and reflect back.
The final suggestion I would like to give you is don’t talk about the religion.
so like you brag about your religion, because when it comes to, be it small talk or conversation,because you belong to some religion, if you are conversing with another person, that person might belong to different religion, so things might not go well if you talk about religion, in most occasions, it is better avoid talking
so, with this, I end this topic.
So, I hope this post would have been useful
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whether it is useful to you?
whether it helps you to improve?
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Thank you so much!
Thank you for watching!